Love you more
by danidizzle
Summary: It's been a long time coming, but she's nearly there. Nearly back to being there. Not good at summaries, give it a read though :)
1. Chapter 1

Hi guys, this is just a quick introduction, see if i should carry on let me know what you think.

much love :)

She's not quite sure how she got to this point.

Sitting alone in a dark room, the only company she has, a half drunk bottle of whisky.

She knows what comes next though, the same thing that always comes next, and as much as she tries to ignore it, she can feel it, feel it sitting there in her chest, an ache. It's a feeling she's used to, and although she's used to it, it doesn't make it any easier.

It's an urge. An urge that comes at 3am when there's no one left to call and no one left to help.

She's been down this road before though, know's where it leads, know's just how hard it is to get back on the right path. Thats why she fights it, she fights the urge.

It's not easy, it never has been for her, that's why she wont give up, no not this time. She's come too far this time, and so it sits there on the shelf, as she sets the half empty whisky bottle on the floor. The slight shimmering of the metal catching her eye, ignored and willed away.

It feels good she thinks as she finally lays down to sleep, feels good to be strong for once, good not to have to put that blade to her skin, good to know as she starts drifting into a light slumber that tomorrow is another day, and although it's been a long time coming she's nearly there.

She's nearly back, back to being her!


	2. Chapter 2

It wernt always like this, I wasn't always so messed up. I used be the girl everyone loved, the girl that walked into a room and lit it up with my smile.

A smile that back then lit my whole face up, now though that smile just shows how broken I became, a smile that never reaches my eyes. It's the saddest type of smile.

A smile can convey a mixture of emotions, I smile not for that I am happy, but sometimes I smile to hide sadness.

I wake up, it's another day but the routine stays the same. I slip into the mask that I become so accustom too, the mask that tells everyone that I'm fine and wonder if one day someone, anyone, will just stop and look, look at the sadness thats shining so painfully there.

One day it happens, someone actually looks, no not just looks but searches, with a tightness in my chest and tears gathering in my eyes, as i stand there, a strange feeling overwhelmes me, as it does I let loose the breath I've been holding, a whirlwind of emotions hitting me all at once, and so I falter, but as I do, for the first time a hand reaches out and steadies me, and so I look, I look up into her face.

The face of a girl, a girl with a smile so full of something i can't quite pin-point, and eyes that seem to read me like an open book, a girl who without meaning or knowing too, will soon change my life in so many ways, but for now will give me a little hope, not a lot, but enough. Enough to get through another day.

It's not an instant fix, I knew it wouldn't be easy letting someone in, but as the day's turn to weeks, it gets easier, we fall into a routine.

It's been a couple of months when i decide to start talking, not alot just little bits here and there, she's patient, understanding. She never rushes me, gives me time to let it out. One night as we sit there, a feeling sits heavy in my chest.

"I cut myself" A feeling of embarrassment and shame sits so forcefully on my shoulders, as i blurt out the words, the ones i thought that would make her look at me like i was a freak, the ones that needed to be said, the huge elephant that's always in the room, the ones i felt no one ever needed to know.

Her head whips round so fast, as her eyes seek mine. Too ashamed to look, I sit an stare at my lap, hands fumbling, silently berating myself for being so stupid, she says my name, i miss it what with the barrage of thoughts running through my head. "Dani" she calls again, my heart stops.

She reaches out, tilts my head towards her, "Look at me" she says i fight the urge i have to look into her brown orbs, "Please" she says, as i look up, the sight of which makes my breath hitch, and a painfull tightness rest in my heart, with tears streaming down her face, a look that is neither judgemental or accusatory sits on her beautiful features "I know" is her reply, as she tugs me towards her, into her, into an embrace so full of love and understanding, my own tears falling now, as she holds tighter, and tells me the only words i've ever really needed to hear.

"I've got you, it's all going to be okay now, trust me"

I do, with everything that I am, i trust her.


	3. Chapter 3

This is my first story, all mistakes are my own especially the one's that Dani make's in it ahaa, hope you guys like it, an thanks for the reviews :) Dani x

"The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it."

― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

Things were great, well as great as things could be.

Some days were good, some were bad, some nights I slept, some night I'd be lucky if I got an hour or two.

I was painfully shy back then, had social anxiety and depression, cutting seemed a way out, a release, a way just to forget about everything, if even if it was only for a few moment before everything came back with a vengeance, sure medication helped to an extent but i didn't want to rely on that, I didn't want to be that girl anymore. I wanted to be strong. I learned to cope the only way i knew how to, by being a bitch, sarcasm was the best form of defence right? People get angry because they get hurt, the anger covers up the hurt.

Did I mention that we worked together? No. Well we did, one day we hardly spoke, the next, we became inseperable! It was insane, for so long i had closed myself off to everyone, then she came along and it was like she knew, she knew how to bring out the best in me.

People at work were wary, who could blame them, we went from virtual strangers to best friends within the matter of weeks, of course she had a boyfriend and i was the resident lesbian, i couldn't blame them, not really, I didn't care though i just needed her in my life.

After weeks of being how we were, the messages, the little touches and smiles became something more. The message's turned into texting eachother morning, noon and night. Her being there no matter the time when i was having a bad day. The little touches and smiles?, they became something else entirely, the touches became holding my hand when I needed something to root me to reality, and the smile, God those smile's the one's that made me forget everything, the one's that i knew were just for me, those turned into hugs, hugs when after a bad day and an even worse night, she would hold me so close and tell me, tell me i would get better and she wouldn't let go, not untill i could breath easy and the shaking had stopped.

She became my constant, my tether to reality.

I fell so hard and so fast, i couldn't of stopped it if i tried, that wouldn't have been so bad, but she had a boyfriend.

I tried to take a step back, tried to stop being so dependant on her, she never made it easy, but we dealt.

Well untill that night, the night that changed our dynamic all together, she was at a friend's birthday party nothing major just a few family and friends, and she begged me to go, i relented, figured it wouldn't hurt how wrong i was, after that night everything changed!

It must have been about 2am when nearly everyone else had left, i decided to leave too, as i was standing up ready to go, she stood too, as she did she grasped my hand, as i turned to look at her everything else disappeard, we stood there for what seemed like hours, it was merely seconds as she glanced from my lips to my eyes and back again before she leaned in, as our lips connected for the first time my heart leaped and my eyes closed, for the first time in a while i felt something, something other than sadness and emptiness.

I was happy,

It would be delightful to report that we kissed and everything was great... but then, there would be no story.


End file.
